


Time and Time Again

by C4ssbutt



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Light Angst, Season 3, Season 3 Spoilers, basically the scene I wish we'd get every season and never do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:36:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19732231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4ssbutt/pseuds/C4ssbutt
Summary: Aftermath of the Battle of Starcourt and my need to write the scene I wish they'd give Steve every season but never do: someone looking out for him and addressing his injuries/trauma.(also I've not written anything in a ridiculously long time, and this isn't really where I pictured this going, so pls be nice)Huge spoilers for S3!!





	1. Chapter 1

When everything had calmed down, when the fire engine sirens had faded away, Steve found himself sat alone on the hood of the pale yellow convertible car that he had borrowed to save his friends and then unceremoniously crashed in order to do so. In the aftermath of the battle, the sky was clear, tranquil even, like it had no idea what had just happened beneath it. Everyone had reunited with their loved ones: Joyce Byers hugging her sons, Nancy with her brother, Lucas and Erica, El and Max still reeling from their losses but seemed to dare the world to try to hurt them again. Robin had long gone home, she needed to be with her family as well as process everything that had happened, and Steve could hardly blame her. That girl had been brave, a fighter but everyone has a limit. Steve had watched as everyone found comfort in someone else, watched as one by one, they were taken home. A part of him wished for that, for somewhere safe and loving to return to. Sure, he had his family house, but it wasn't a home; his parents were no more loving than strangers and his bedroom was a place to sleep and nothing more. His job at the mall meant that he was stuck in that house for the foreseeable future and that was something that scared him almost as much as the Mindflayer. 

Lost in his thoughts, it wasn't until the last car pulled away that he realised there was someone still stood by one of the huge stone columns of the mall. Steve would recognise that mop of curly hair anywhere, and he knew it was only a matter of time before Dustin made his way over. As soon as he looked up and made eye contact, Dustin took it as his cue and made his way over to the hood of the car. Stood by the headlight, Dustin looked uncharacteristically tentative with his hands in his pockets but his eyes never wavering from Steve's. After a moment of silence that stretched on longer than either boy would have liked, Dustin finally took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Look I owe you an apology, Steve."

Honestly of all the things that could have come out of Dustin's mouth at that moment, expressing an apology was not what Steve expected. He half thought he had misheard him, the ringing in his ears from the crash as well as the pounding headache building from all the shit he'd endured over the last 24 hours was making it quite hard to focus. Still, he knew it was important that he heard Dustin out and so he pressed on,

"I'm sorry... what? You saved my ass, what could you possibly be sorry for?" 

It was almost like his response burst a dam in Dustin as it all came flooding out. He hopped up onto the hood of the car, on Steve's left side, and his shoulders slumped as he began talking:

"I'm just sorry that I left you there in the Russian lab and that you got caught and that I dragged you into this shit in the first place. I'm sorry that it took me too long to get back to you and that you had been tortured by them. I'm sorry that I never really asked how you were doing when we got out, that I never checked your injuries, or insisted that you went to a doctor. And I know it was chaos but that's bullshit, Steve because I should have checked anyway. I'm sorry that I told you that you should have resisted the drug, I know 100% that you held out as long as you could because that's the kind of person you are… you're a hero, and it was shit of me for even suggesting otherwise. And I'm sorry that you've been alone here whilst everyone else reunited, but I want you to know that I'm alone too except neither of us are because we've got each other, right? I have your back even if I didn't before, I'm gonna make sure I do from now on. You hear me? And I'm just so sorry Steve, I'm -"

His breaths were getting shorter and tears began to stream, Dustin had truly never felt so much like a little kid as he did right now. As his words spilled from him, he kept his eyes straight ahead, never looking at Steve for fear of seeing the disappointment in his eyes. It therefore surprised Dustin when Steve silently shuffled closer and dropped an arm round the younger boys' shoulders. Without any conscious thought, Dustin turned his shoulders in toward Steve, and hugged him, the tears still streaming. Steve took a minute to get over the lump that had formed in his own throat before he formulated his response. He had never been trained in how to comfort a crying 13 year old but he had become a fucking good babysitter over the last year and he'd be damned if that was going to fail him now.

"Dustin, listen to me when I say this. You cannot carry guilt over this, this was in no way your fault. I did what I had to do. I knew what I was getting myself into and it's not your job as a kid to worry about me, okay? The fact that you managed to find me in that lab despite being in danger yourself and save me from that place is fucking incredible and shows how goddamn smart you are. You saved my ass in there, and I will forever be in debt to you for that. My injuries aren't that bad, and anyway do you really think I would have let you take me to a doctor when our friends were being attacked by a giant, gross, supernatural spider? Besides, you're a kid and you were scared… you said some stuff you didn't mean. We all do it, and it's okay. I forgive you man."

At this, Dustin looks up at Steve, tears still sparkling in his eyes but with a slightly brighter look. As Steve takes this in, he silently vows to keep this kid away from harm as much as he possibly can, he'd already seen so much shit. However, as Dustin contemplates what Steve had just said, his face darkens again,

"What do you mean you'll be in debt to me? Dude are you crazy right now? You have literally saved my life countless times and never asked for anything in return? My debt is stacked so high right now it's like a college tuition." 

Steve thinks he probably shouldn't laugh but it's nice to hear the fervour returning to Dustin's voice, replacing the tears and so a smile appears on his face. He removes his arm from round Dustin's shoulders in favour of turning his whole body to face him, hopeful that the sincerity carries in his eyes, he quietly says,

"Let's call it even." 

Steve slides off the hood of his car and offers a hand to Dustin. Once they both have their feet on the tarmac, they each climb into the car. Steve turns the key in the ignition and mercifully, the one thing that has gone well for them tonight, the car still starts, and Steve begins driving, heading for the exit of Starcourt Mall. They drive in silence for not even 2 minutes before Dustin starts to fidget, attracting the attention of Steve,

"Oh my god, Dustin, what?" Steve tries for frustration, but it does a poor job of hiding the genuine concern, and they both know it.

"It's just… I feel like this happens too often. Every time we face shit like this, you get hurt so badly and then just carry on like nothing has even happened. And everybody lets you! Like that is somehow okay, but it's not, Steve." 

Steve let out a long sigh, he knew Dustin was feeling guilty but there was some stuff he just didn't want to talk about right now, his time with the Russians being top of the list. He knew he had done some questionable things regarding his physical, and let's face it, mental health in this ongoing battle against the supernatural but honestly, he was relying on the fact that no one mentioned it in order to get through it. The less he thought about what he was doing, the better he could function and he needed to function well in order to protect Dustin and the others. As Steve was figuring out how to tell Dustin this without sounding like he'd utterly lost all sense of self-preservation, he felt a sharp pain go through his ribcage. It startled him and he swerved the car as his torso folded in to try to stop the pain, luckily the roads were quiet so they didn't crash into anyone else but Steve was having a hard time keeping control.

"Woah man, what's happening? Steve? Steve, pull the car over!" Dustin sounded frantic and it was his panicking that registered enough with Steve that he managed to listen and pull the car over to the side of the road and kill the engine. As soon as the car was parked, Steve opened his door, rolled out on to his knees and vomited on the tarmac. Dustin ran around the front of the car, knelt by Steve's side and grabbed hold of his arm.

"Steve, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. Get back in the car." Steve's tone was short, not in anger but in trying to stop himself from passing out.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but we were just talking about this were we not?" The sarcasm in Dustin's voice was, on second thought, starting to attract some of Steve's anger, but Dustin kept going, "because, excuse me, but I think swerving the car and _vomiting_ , whilst near screaming in pain is probably enough grounds for concern… and a call to _someone_?!"

"Do not call anyone, I'm _fine_." Steve rocked back so that he was sat with his back resting on the door frame, his knees up in front of him. Sat like this, his breathing slowly became easier and the pain died down a little. The tears in his eyes from the strain of vomiting stung the cuts on his face, but the sensation barely registered with him. As soon as he had altered his position, Dustin had disappeared back round the other side of the car. It wasn't long though before he reappeared, his radio in hand. 

"What have I just said?" Steve snapped, without looking at Dustin.

"Please Steve," there was a pause, and then, "I'm scared."

Steve had never known the smart, independent, witty, sarcastic Dustin sound so small and… _young_. The wavering in his voice forced Steve to look at him, and his heart broke at the expression on his face. 

"Fine, make the damn call."

Half an hour later, Steve was in the back of an ambulance on his way to the hospital to get checked over and as always, Dustin was right by his side. It was as if the moment Steve admitted he needed help, his body heard its cue to start powering down to recharge, and Steve fell unconscious quickly with the gentle movement of the vehicle. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, Dustin held Steve's hand the whole way there because he was in too deep a sleep to tell him not to, and it gave him a little reassurance that everything was going to be okay.


	2. I'll Be Here Again

When Steve wakes up he comes to with absolutely no idea where he is. His brain takes this information in slowly and as his panic sets in, he bolts upright. He soon wishes he hadn't as pain flares up his ribcage and he clutches the metal rail for dear life as a groan escapes him. The commotion he makes seems to startle whoever is in the chair next to him, that his blurry vision currently won't let him see, from their sleep, and they hurriedly stand up. With deep breaths, as the pain subsides into a dull ache, and his vision starts to clear, Steve can finally decipher that it's Dustin stood next to him, worry plastered on his face. He should have known the stubborn kid would have stayed,

"Dustin, what? Where am I? Why are you still here, you should be at home."

"Calm it, you're in the hospital. They kept you overnight for observation, just to check your head," Dustin explains but he knows that Steve isn't really in any fit state to be arguing with him. He tries anyway,

"Wait, overnight?! You've been here all night? Dustin Henderson your mother will be worried sick. Go home right now! I'm fine!" 

"I wasn't gonna leave, shithead! And we both know you're not fine, so if for once you could shut up and do as your told that would be fucking peachy!" Dustin was getting angry but not at Steve, more at his inability to take care of himself or let anyone else take care of him: "please, Steve, just let me do this. Okay?" 

Steve wished that Dustin's kicked puppy expression wasn't so effective, but it had already landed him in the hospital, so he guessed he wasn't getting away from it anytime soon. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what the kid was doing for him, he just didn't want him to have to deal with Steve's crap after already handling so much more than he should have had to already. It isn't easy seeing anyone you know in hospital and he really wanted to spare Dustin this. The problem was that he couldn't say this without Dustin getting the wrong impression and thinking he was trying to insist he was fine again, and he didn't want to upset him. 

"Fine. But at least call your mom okay?" Steve figured a compromise was better than nothing.

"I will, as soon as the doctor comes around. I swear"

Steve took that to be the best he was going to get and settled back into the bed as Dustin sat back down. He knew he should say something, but his brain was still clearing, and he wasn't entirely sure where to start, whether he had a constant dull ache in his skull or not. If he's being honest, sometimes he forgets that Dustin is a middle schooler because he has an ability to control the conversation and holds himself with such _maturity_ and intelligence that covers how young he really is. Steve wishes he could talk to him like a kid, brush it all off with blanket statements and nice sentiments but he knew that it wouldn't fly. Dustin was going to push this and push this until eventually one of them was going to snap and Steve liked that Dustin trusted him, and he didn't want to ruin that. Which brought him back to talking. It's just that he didn't know what he even wanted to get across, much less how to do it. But Dustin was getting impatient, so he needed to open his mouth soon before the kid made some wild assumptions. He came to the conclusion that maybe if he just opened his mouth and _started_ then it would all work out. It was the only plan he had so,

"Dustin, I -" 

Dustin's head snapped up from where he was looking at his hands as soon as Steve opened his mouth. Being confronted with Dustin's eyes boring straight into him made this whole situation much harder, and he was quickly aware that his plan was failing him. Racking his brain for something to say, and coming up with nothing, Steve was getting more frustrated and let a sigh escape him. Dustin, to his credit, didn't say anything choosing instead to look back down to his knees and pick at a loose bit of cotton on his shorts. The silence enveloped them for too long, until Dustin had obviously had enough and beat him to breaking it.

"I heard you last night. In your sleep… you had a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?" Dustin's tone was as far removed from judgemental as possible, but Steve still couldn't find words to answer, instead he looked at Dustin imploringly, silently begging him to drop the subject.

"No, of fucking course you don't," Dustin answered for him, huffing a laugh despite nothing being funny as the anger creeped in, "look, I get that it's hard but staying silent forever is not going to help you." 

Steve felt now like he had no choice but to respond, he didn't want to push the kid away.

"Dustin, I swear I'm not doing this on purpose. Yeah being held by the Russian soldiers was scary and daunting, I'm not saying I will never talk about it, I'm just saying not right now. I'm sorry that I tried to pretend like I was fine, and I'm sorry I almost crashed the car. That was so stupid of me, I could have hurt you. It's just that I can fight so much easier if I don't stop to think about what's happening. You gotta understand that man, please."

Although Dustin had pushed for a conversation, this wasn't exactly the reveal he was expecting. He was mad that all Steve seemed to focus on was the harm that _other_ people might come to, never himself. The problem was, Dustin also understood. Sometimes you have to push things to the back of your mind just to get through the day, and he needed to respect that; but he also needed to show Steve that it was okay for him to stop fighting, the monster was gone, they were safe.

"I understand, Steve, and I'm sorry for pushing it. It's just… _hard_ to see you like this, but I trust that when you're ready, you'll talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me, but someone. All I want you to know is that you can stop fighting now and be an 18 year old again. We're safe, you kept us safe." Dustin had tears rolling down his face, but he refused to let them stop him from getting his message across. When he looked over at Steve, he noticed that his eyes were sparkling too.

"Come here, you little shit." Steve held his right arm out towards Dustin who got back up from his seat and took a step closer. Dustin gently wrapped his arms around Steve and gave him a hug, his tears restarting into Steve's shoulder. Steve pulled him down so that he was sat on the bed with him and hugged him into his chest, knowing that Dustin needed the comfort. Through his tears and muffled by Steve's shoulder, Dustin managed to croak out,

"Don't ever do that to me again, ever."

A small smile appeared on Steve's face as he caught what Dustin had said,

"I love you too, kid."


End file.
